>> I WANT TO SHOW YOU A CHART THAT PROVES I'M IN TROUBLE.

IT'S AS BASIC AS A CHART CAN BE.

A SINGLE SLOPING LINE.

THE LABEL FOR THIS CHART IS "MEDICAL CONCERNS."

ON THE HORIZONTAL AXIS, WE HAVE HOW SERIOUS I CONSIDER A CONCERN TO BE.

AND ON THE VERTICAL AXIS, WE HAVE TRAGICALLY HOW LIKELY I AM TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.

I KNOW YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY SEE HOW RIDICULOUS THIS IS.

IF I HAVE AN ITCHY EYELID, NO PROBLEM.

I'LL GO GET SOME DROPS.

BUT IF I HAVE AN ONGOING, THROBBING PAIN IN MY FOOT THAT A.I.

TELLS ME IS TPTC OR TERMINAL PINKY TOE CANCER, I SOMEHOW TALK MYSELF INTO THE NOPE REGION.

NOPE, NO DOCTOR FOR ME.

WHAT?

APPARENTLY I'M NOT THE ONLY MAN WHO BEHAVES THIS WAY AND ACCORDING TO THE EXPERTS IT'S BECAUSE MEN DON'T LIKE BAD NEWS.

WHICH, EH, MAYBE?

BUT I ACTUALLY THINK THERE'S A DEEPER CAUSE.

AND IT'S A SYCHOLOGICAL CONDITION I'M GOING TO CALL I.D.

OR IRRATIONAL DISTRUST.

YOU SEE, IF I'M BEING HONEST, I SHOULD REALLY RELABEL THE HORIZONTAL AXIS "HOW LIKELY I THINK IT REALLY IS THAT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL CAN ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE CONCERN I'M CONCERNED ABOUT."

AN ITCHY YELID?

I'M SURE THEY CAN CURE THAT SO I GO TO THE DOCTOR.

BUT TPTC, THERE'S NO WAY SCIENCE CAN TACKLE SOMETHING THAT AWFUL.

I'M ALREADY DOOMED, WHAT'S THE POINT, WHY TORTURE MYSELF?

AND THIS JUST ADDS A SECOND SCOOP OF RIDICULOUSNESS TO MY ENTIRE PHILOSOPHY BECAUSE MODERN MEDICINE CAN FIX HINGS.

I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND I KNOW TEN PEOPLE PERSONALLY WHO HAVE SUCCESSFULLY TREATED THEIR CANCER.

AND THAT'S A MIRACLE.

IT ALSO MEANS THE DATA SUPPORTS HOPE.

THIS IS WHY MY SLOPE IS SUCH A MESS.

IT'S NOT A REPRESENTATION OF SCIENCE OR LOGIC OR STATISTICS.

IT'S A DEPICTION OF A UNIQUELY MALE FORM OF CHRONIC PESSIMISM, AND I MAY NOT BE A DOCTOR, BUT EVEN I KNOW THAT'S A PRESCRIPTION FOR TROUBLE.

ENGHH.