>> MY OLD PAL JOE WEIDT — MAY HIS MEMORY BE A BLESSING — ALWAYS USED TO SAY THAT NO ORGANIZATION GOT MORE FREE PUBLICITY THAN THE MINNESOTA STATE FAIR.

WITH 34 DAYS 'TIL OPENING DAY, MY OLD BUDDY’S WISDOM ENDURES OF COURSE.

THERE’S THE CONSUMER REPORTING: THIS WOULD INCLUDE THE ANNUAL GLUTTONOUS COVERAGE OF NEW FOODS AT THE FAIR.

CHICKEN-FRIED BACON FRIES, ANYONE?

IT ALSO INCLUDES THE CUSTOMARY BEVY OF STORIES ABOUT WHICH MEDICARE-ELIGIBLE MUSICIANS WILL BE SHUFFLING OUT ONTO THE GRANDSTAND STAGE TO WHEEZE OUT A CONCERT.

BUT HOW MANY ORGANIZATIONS DO YOU KNOW THAT GET A DOZEN EYE-GRABBING, FEATURE-LENGTH HELP-WANTED PLACEMENTS?

THERE WERE A FISTFUL OF STORIES THIS WEEK ABOUT THE UPCOMING STATE FAIR JOB FAIR.

DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET PAID $11.50 AN HOUR FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF SHOVELING ALPACA DUNG?

AND IT’S NOT JUST THE QUANTITY OF STORIES.

IT’S THIS WHOLE BREATHLESS, BACKSIDE-SMOOCHING GESTALT.

OUR SPORTS TEAMS GET PLENTY OF WHAT THE DATA WONKS CALL “EARNED MEDIA” TOO.

BUT THEY PAY FOR IT BY BEING THE OBJECT OF ANALYSIS AND CRITICISM.

BY THE FAIR’S OWN ESTIMATES, THEY GET MORE THAN $100 MILLION WORTH OF FREE INK, AIR, AND MEGA-BYTES EVERY YEAR.

I DID MY OWN ANALYSIS AND CALCULATED THAT THE DOLLAR VALUE OF THAT COVERAGE THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED EVEN REMOTELY NEGATIVE IS... $3.27.

OH, WE TRY: THE MINNESOTA STAR TRIBUNE OFFERED A QUALIFIED “MEH” ON THIS YEAR’S CONCERT LINEUP AT THE GRANDSTAND.

BUT WE CAN’T HELP OURSELVES: ON THE VERY SAME DAY, THE STRIB ISSUED A REQUEST FOR LETTERS FROM READERS EXPLAINING WHY THEY LOVE THE FAIR SO MUCH MUAH!

DON’T GET ME WRONG: I LOVE THE FAIR AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY, MAYBE MORE THAN THE NEXT GUY.

BUT FOR MINNESOTANS — AND BY EXTENSION FOR MINNESOTA MEDIA — TO ENGAGE IN CRITICISM OF THE FAIR IS LIKE PLAYING DUCK-DUCK GOOSE.